Sharks, Gucci and Commitment

Image by Dylan Siebal

Image by Dylan Siebal

My husband and my daughter are extraordinary examples of commitment. Once they get an idea of something they want — want to do, want to accomplish, want to learn, want to have — they grab on like a shark and will NOT let it go. For Scott, it’s one of the reasons he is so successful. Ellie is on Gucci sneakers right now. She’s 15. As persistent as she is, that one’s going to take enormous commitment.

Commitment is a word we hear often in language, in conversations. It’s something we take pride in saying, like we really mean it.

“How committed are you to ______ ?”

“Oh, I’m absolutely committed.”

Then thing _______ never happens, or someone experiences disappointment, and we beat ourselves up for not following through, again. Or not being good enough, again. Even though we thought, we knew, we wanted ______ .

Our conscious mind is telling us we’re committed. It feels committed. I really want ______ this time. 

And yet, there is a breakdown somewhere. 

Commitment is not about desire. Or wanting something. Or having the perfect plan.

Commitment is about action.

It is when you take action to follow through on _______ in spite of internal obstacles — thoughts, emotions or feelings. Or external obstacles — “My car is in the shop.” Take an Uber or get a ride. Figure it out.

And the thing about commitment…it sometimes seems to invite obstacles up to be cleared away. You have to see them for what they are, not create drama and story about the thing, and get to the business of focusing on the commitment. 

You stop using reasons as excuses and figure it out.

When you are really, actually committed to something, you will find, create and cultivate the determination to persist.

You will be relentless. Unstoppable. Unwavering. Persistent. Consistent.

Until you are 100% committed, there will be indecision, doubt and a lack of applied action. (Not the “busy” type of action that keeps you busy and not getting results.)

Commitment is a powerful tool of creation and performance.

You know what you are committed to by looking around at your life. Those are the results of your commitments.

My money is on Ellie walking out the door with Gucci sneakers, someday.

And someday, she’ll take her commitment to something much, much bigger. Just like her dad.

Because she knows it works.

Love,

ANGIE_Signature.png
 

Did you really say that?

There is a Chief Officer of a fast growing company who occurs to herself as “I get shit done.” And who she is, and who she has been throughout her life and career, is “I get shit done.” She’s a builder, a creator, a person who can be counted on by others to … deliver. Most importantly, she can count on herself.

There is a Vice President of another company who occurs to herself as an entrepreneur. And yet, her entire career has been within a corporate structure. She is a creator, a mover, a change-maker; someone who can be counted on to see a need and go build it. She IS an entrepreneur within her company.

There is a woman who has had a rapid and meteoric rise in her direct sales company, to the very top of hundreds of thousands of people. My theory is she occurs to herself as someone who is convicted about and devoted to her system, her product, her team, and the results she sees. It works.

I know many people who occur to themselves as not having will power, or the consistency to follow through with a project, a diet, a task, because it’s just “who they are.” And they’ve “always been that way.”

In order to upgrade the experience of your life, it's crucial to know where you are now. How you see yourself. The words you speak. How you talk to yourself and others.

“I get shit done.”

“I consider myself an entrepreneur, a creator.”

“I know this works.”

“I usually start things like that but don’t finish. I just don’t have the will power. Or the time.”

 

How, and if, we see ourselves as creators of our destiny, our lives, our careers, our relationships is directly related to:

how we speak

what we say 

the declarations we make 

what we are committed to

what we tell ourselves about who we are.

 

How you occur to yourself

IS

who you are Being.

 

It comes through in your language. The language you use with other people, and most importantly, the words you say to yourself.

 

Watch your words…they leave clues on the trail to who you are.

Be aware of your words. Observe them, look at them, question them.

Listen to yourself.

Your language creates who you are.

 

{you matter}

 

Love,

ANGIE_Signature.png
 

Showing up, mid-life & Being You

Not too long ago, I read a post with the quote below from Brené Brown, and with it was a gorgeous photo of the British actress, Helen Mirren. It was utterly inspiring, this idea, to be exactly who you are, unapologetically. I imagined the calm, sophisticated, powerful, British voice of Dame Helen speaking these words (and btw...she's 72):

"I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:
I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.
Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.
Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen."
Brené Brown

Yes ma'am.

There really isn’t much more that needs to be said about that.

I will add a few things about Showing Up. Bringing yourself to life. Myself being smack dab in the middle of mid-life, a place that always seemed so far awaaaaayyyyyy —

Well, we’re here. It is time. There is no other time than right now. Whether you’re in mid-life, quarter-life or any other place on the timeline of life, we are being called to Show Up.

That pull you feel? Towards something, away from something, a kind of swishing back and forth, whatever it is for you, it’s Life trying to get your attention. It can be unsettling, unconformable, exhilarating and downright painful at times.

Stay in it. Do the work of release and strengthening, consistently. Expansion, contraction. Life, death, life cycles. Burn it all down, or put some things aside, and begin again. And again.

If you give it space, get quiet, lean toward it and listen, Life is telling you that You are right where you should be. All of the things that have happened and are happening are part of your fabric, your armor, but they are not You.

You, dear one, are enough. You, dear one, have everything thing you need right now. It’s there, the wild call of your soul to progress. To move forward. 

With freedom to be and freedom to act without constraint. How your wild call looks to others is of no concern. We need You, in all your radiance, with your outside voice, to show up.

You have the power to do anything you desire . . . IF. . . you actually know what your desires are.

Let's take a look :: Where are you right now? What’s it like for you? To be you? Are you experiencing meaning? Going through the motions? Do you feel like you are a contribution? Do you care?

What are you committed to?

What are you giving your life to?

The world was never moved by a passing complaint.

Or the question, “But how do I do that?” Or the thought, "But I can't do that."

You matter.

Show us how.

All my love and devotion,

ANGIE_Signature.png
 

How to Get Unstuck

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A simple list for becoming unstuck, because (contrary to what you might want to hear), it's not terribly complicated:

  1.  Find a way to add value to someone's life.
  2. Hire a coach (this is the fastest way.)
  3. Don't make being stuck bad. It's not bad or good. Just ask yourself if it's working or not, is it powerful or non-powerful.
  4. Stop saying that you're stuck. Language is creative.
  5. Stop being inauthentic in your life.
  6. Operate with integrity.
  7. Exercise.
  8. Do what you say you're going to do, within the time frame you say you're going to do it. (more integrity.)
  9. Become obsessed with something.
  10. Consciously surround yourself with people that aren't stuck.
  11. Change your language. What you speak into the world has power. Even if it doesn't make it out of your mouth, and only stays in your mind.
  12. BE HAPPY.
  13. TAKE ACTION.

xo,

Angie

If you're not here, you're nowhere...

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Being in the present is a popular topic, and one that is still elusive for so many of us.

We get easily sucked in by dwelling in the past or worrying about the future.

How do we stay present, all the time?

Think about it this way,

if you’re not here now, where are you?

We only exist in the present. The past is gone, so the only real point to it is to learn from it and move on. The future will never be here, so the best we can do is make the necessary  plans to keep life going, and release the attachment to what will actually occur. 

Not being in the present moment causes anxiety, stress and overwhelm because our minds are constantly jumping from future to future. A future that doesn’t exist yet.

Being “stuck” (another popular word) is just the inability to be present and committed to life.

Commitment can only happen in the present moment. I can’t be committed to writing this post in two weeks. I can schedule it and plan out my writing, but the committed action only occurs as I am writing it, in present time.

Three things that are helpful in staying out of stuck and moving into the present:

1. Organize your day - have specified times for planning, scheduling, thinking about the future so that the rest of your day is spent executing the necessary required actions.

2. Ask yourself, what can I do RIGHT NOW, what can I commit to in this moment, that will move me out of this unworkable feeling?

3. Stop and look around you. Notice where you are with the purpose of observing your surroundings. Without judgment, see everything close to you. Even start naming things…this is my computer. This is a pen. This is my desk. This is my child. This is my husband. Be where you are without judging where you think you need to be.

The more we can practice living in the present and executing what we need to do now, instead of pushing off our commitments to some point in the future, we will set up more ease, flow and joy in our lives.

Being present in your life is one of the greatest gifts you can give the people you love. When we can reduce or eliminate the anxiety and worry we carry needlessly for some scenario that hasn’t even happened yet, it frees up so much space for laughter, peace, having fun and really BEING. 

You know what else can only exist in the present?

Love.

It’s always sending an invitation for your company.

Are you there to accept it?

Loving you right now,

Angie