This morning...

 Photo by  Joshua Sortino  on  Unsplash


I heard the first bird song this morning at 6:06, before the sun came up.

While I drank my coconut water mixed with greens powder and Ashwaganda and stood on my back porch. Then I took my probiotic. Drank two glasses of water. Cleaned the few remaining dishes out of the sink. Made coffee. Watered the plants. Fed the dog. Pet the dog. Walked outside. Pet the dog again. Picked up the dog and snuggled him (Very important step.) Poured coffee. Lit a candle. Sat to write.


Reflecting back, I don’t recall a single thought.

(Transparency:  Had a stray emotional thought before getting out of bed about Ellie and the fact that she is driving now, but I’m going to write about it in a bit, after I exercise. Important distinction here -- after I move my body and change my physical state. Move some of the energy around, then go back to it. I’ve learned that giving time to thoughts that arise before I get out of bed is usually not useful. They’re sneaky. Back to Being.)

I sat quietly at my desk. Scanned my environment and my mind.

Good morning. Welcome. What’s happening today?

This morning is not unlike any other morning. I don’t water the plants every day, or sit to write at the this time every single day, sometimes I exercise at this time, but all the rest is my ritual.

I never planned out my mornings to look like this. It just happens. It’s comfortable. It’s quiet. It works. It must, or it wouldn’t happen this way.

This is when I open the space for my mind, slowly.

If I fling open the door and let everything rush in at once, it’s quite overwhelming. Chaos and pandemonium can ensue. All the things and thoughts start running around, crashing into each other, climbing for priority, importance and meaning. Then doubt and judgment want to completely take over and referee the whole scene.

That is not how I want to start the day. Any day. Ever.

So I don’t. Even on days when I have an early meeting or travel or many things stacked and need to start super early.

My mind doesn’t get to clock in until it’s appropriately scheduled time. With an invitation. Google can work well if that’s what it takes.

I am sincerely devoted to Mastering my Mind. Whatever it takes.

My Being/Truth sets the tone for the day and creates a healthy environment and physical state for my mind to be activated. Being is where Power lives. It’s where Love lives. It’s where Peace lives.

My mind doesn’t get to run the show. It is based on years of programming that may or may not be accurate, and many of those programs were placed and projected onto me by others. And some my young mind didn’t know how to process, so it created false beliefs that just don’t serve me anymore. No fault or blame here. Just what happened.

My mind does work well at what it’s job actually is. Which is performing tasks and doing things. That’s probably about it. Creating a plan, a schedule, a spreadsheet, a map. Good mind work. Get in there and get it done. (Although I might even argue that somewhat…)

Anything else, is the work of Being.

My sincere desire is to live from Truth.

Truth doesn’t come from anywhere outside of me or from anything anyone (including my own mind) will say to me. Either written or spoken. Sure, I love to read books and listen to podcasts and go to workshops and have beautiful conversations. Information is entertaining. Language can point to Truth and create an opening. Much like me writing all of this down and now you are reading it. It’s opening a door, which you may or may not walk through.

Truth can only be experienced. And I can only experience it, when it arises in me.

A deep resonance from within.

Never in my mind as an intellectual process or from an external source.

I can hear your possible questions:

  • What are you talking about?
  • How can I separate my mind from my Being?
  • I’m creating my thoughts, how can they not be true?
  • How can you NOT be in your mind?
  • My mind is me, right?
  • How do you do this?


There’s a lot to say about all of that.

And my response is:


Who is asking the questions?




The Root of Fear

 Photo by  NeONBRAND  on  Unsplash

Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash


Think about all the things in your life that are meaningful to you. What do you believe about these areas?

What are your beliefs about your parenting? Your performance at work? Your ability to connect with your partner? Friendships? Your body?

There might be some positive beliefs mixed in with some pretty negative ones, and maybe a couple of downright nasty bits you don’t want to see. You might be afraid you're not doing a good job in one or more areas. Or maybe any. There could be a lot of beliefs that can cause fear. It's what the human mind does.

The truth about fear is the root lies in releasing our beliefs about ourselves and our lives. It’s the beliefs about a thing that are running the show, not the thing itself.

Let me explain.

We get attached to the drama of life because we wouldn’t know what to do without it. It’s what fuels us. It’s where we feel things.

We think we are searching for the meaning in life when we are actually seeking the experience of living. (Transparency: I lifted that idea from Joseph Campbell.) And let's be clear, drama, anxiety, stress, tension . . . is not living.

So, we go around putting all this meaning on everything. Even fear itself. We connect and confuse drama, pain, suffering, strife, conflict, attachment, struggle, stress, tension and survival with the meaning and living of our lives.

What we are actually afraid of is separating ourselves from the drama (beliefs) we complain about.

This might be difficult for the mind to wrap around. Of course it is.

The mind is where all of this nonsense is created.

Fear is a signal.

We are afraid of letting go of the bullshit we complain about all the time. We say we hate it. We say we wish things were different. We say we if we could only change or improve -- ourselves, him, her, the situation -- things would be better. This heavy feeling in your chest would lift. You wouldn’t feel so exhausted. You wouldn’t be so irritable. The anxiety would dissipate.


If you didn’t have all this “stuff” (aka stress, tension) in your life, who would you be? This is a real question.

Who would you Be?

Can you imagine it?

What if it is possible to completely declare your independence from every belief or thought stream that is pressing on your Being? About e v e r y t h i n g.

Regardless of your circumstances.

Imagine You, the Who You Really Are, actually stepping outside your body and mind, cleaning itself up, shaking all the stress and tension off like a wild animal after it’s been chased, and stepping back into your body . . . clean.

Without any preconceived thoughts about how things “are” or “ought to be” or “should be” or “this is right” and “that is wrong” -- beliefs about anything.

You step back into your Self with Beginner’s Mind. With awe and wonder at the miracle of what is.

Don’t worry, you still get to keep your family, your job, your life and your all-so-critically important knowledge and skills.  Because you know a lot and want to hold on to all that knowledge.

But without all the drama and meaning you have built around it.

All of your life gets to be as it . IS .  Open and free.

Sound ridiculous? Amazing? Outlandish?

It is. And entirely possible.

The prerequisite . . .

You have to completely leave who you think you are and all the beliefs that go with it.

And that, is what you are afraid of.

Losing you. Or what you think is you.

Your ego/mind will fight every ounce of you separating yourself from it.

But the path to Freedom is to see that Fear, know what it is, know where it comes from, package it up and leave it at the curb. You can always go back and get it.

Having a sincere desire to transform, to lose you, take the leap, make this decision, be all in with who you know you really are, will create results such as these:

Energy, Lightness, Compassion, Love, Fulfillment, Empathy, Courage, Confidence, Power, Purpose, Ease, Grace.


That’s a loss I’m willing to take.

And in this world, we need all of us to be leveling up.




A real question

 Photo by  Mikito Tateisi  on  Unsplash


Much of my time is spent living in questions.

In my own inner world and with clients.

Not searching for explanations or answers, but entering powerful questions and listening for what arises. 

This is solitary work. Even in a committed partnership with brilliant communication, even with friends who love the same types of questions I do. Even with my own coaches and teachers.

The truth I seek can only come from the deepest places in my own heart and body.

No one can give me directions to a path that hasn't been cleared.

I'm not looking to follow a common path, full of common answers and common hacks and common programs and fitting in to what is normal.

My desire is to blaze a trail.

It's my job and my job alone to see the destination, cut away the brush and place the stones into a life that is true for me.

The questions aren't what we think.

It's not about looking for or waiting for or how to develop the confidence, or the steps to take, or the instructions to follow, or the book to read, or product to sell.

The real question is -- 


How sincere is your desire to live your own truth?




Be happy first

 Asheville - June 2017

Asheville - June 2017


That's really it. Not much more needs to be said.

Real happiness. Deep joy. 

This is not Pollyanna. It's a simple decision that can change your life.

When I come from that place, when I place Happiness first in front of anything, no matter the circumstances, life works better.

Even in pain. Even in darkness. Even when there is suffering, disagreement, challenge, confusion, agitation, frustration. I know these states are temporary. With inquiry and breathing, I can see the lesson, listen from my inner compass and be with what's happening as it is.

When I can hold joy as my foundation, there is less judgment of myself and others.

It's a stand to take that informs absolutely every aspect of life.

It wasn't always this way for me. But now that I can remember it, feel it, taste it, smell it, know it, dance with it, I experience Joy as creative feminine power.

Whether you are standing in the boardroom or the bedroom or any room, coming from "My nature is joy, power and ease, and life is happening," transforms any situation.

One of the great gifts of being a woman is the ability to hold different emotions at once. But it's important to have clarity as to their meaning and message, as to not be overwhelmed and whipped around by their presence. When we remember that our true nature is joy, and have a remembered experience of what that feels like in the body, we can come back to that place as a source. It's always there. It's powerful, playful, sensual, sensitive, intuitive, truthful, courageous and capable.

A warrior's capacity for strength, with angel wings of grace.

Strong back. Soft front. Open, fierce heart.

We don't have to choose. We can lead with it all.


It's important we do.






The Gift of Uncertainty

 Photo by  Lukas Becker  on  Unsplash

Photo by Lukas Becker on Unsplash


What can you be certain of?, totally 1000% for sure.

The sun rising tomorrow morning? Ok, the sun does seem to rise every day.

Will you get hungry at lunchtime? Yep, if that's what you believe will happen, and you have evidence to prove it in your mind, the odds are stacked in your favor of getting hungry by noon.

But can't even these include some tiny speck of uncertainty? Yes, the earth is spinning and we are orbiting the sun, but does anyone, anywhere know for absolutely sure that will continue forever? Or even tomorrow? Who knows? We have scientific evidence to prove theories and calculations for future events, but do we really know a thing will happen?

What if you don't get hungry at lunch tomorrow? Will you assume because it's lunchtime that you are hungry, or will you actually listen to your body and respond to what is occurring? What if you listened to your body and only actually became hungry once tomorrow? What if you were only slightly hungry four times but not enough for an actual meal?

How many times have you thought something was definitely going to happen and it didn't? How many times were you sure a thing would definitely not happen, and there it is?

What if we don't really know for sure, about anything?

The human mind loves to know for sure. It loves to calculate and control and know and analyze and gather information and more information. All of this processing can be helpful in decision making. (If you don't get paralyzed by fear of starting.) It does seem to work best to have some clarity before opening that new business or starting that new venture.

Then, the thing that doesn't usually happen...

just let go.

What if you could operate from the place of "I don't know." I don't know if it will work. I'm committed to it. I'm taking all the necessary required actions. I'm clear in my desire and in my purpose. I've done everything and I'm being who I need to be to get my desired result.

And, now . . . time to let go and see what happens.

We think certainty will give us peace, stability, structure, an exhale.

We have all those things already in us. The uncertainty is where life is. It's where the passion and purpose and the feeling of being alive is imploring us to pay attention.

There's just no way to know how a thing will go. Not really. The only thing I can be certain of is who I will create myself to be in it. The impact I can make by my being present and coming to it with love and power. And if I think that I can control it with my knowledge, I'm operating with constraint and limitation.

In the space of I Don't Know, there is the possibility of infinite creation. A way of being that sees itself able to identify a desire, become clear on the intention, develop purpose, acquire passion and achieve a result you never dreamed possible.

That only lives in the land of uncertainty.