You don't have to do it all on your own. There are no gold stars. No trophies. You are not supposed to do it all. It's why we create communities, families, friends, neighbors.
TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER.
I learned this great lesson at an Equine Experience at Miraval in Arizona several years ago. In one part of the exercise, we brushed the horses and cleaned their hooves. Horses are very energetically sensitive; meaning they are acutely in tune with the fears or confidence of humans.
I had horses growing up so I was all, "I so got this," with my horsemanship skills.
I breezed through the exercise until the last hoof to clean on the rear left. I was a little apprehensive at the powerful hindquarters of an animal I didn't know. And he knew it. He wouldn't budge.
I tried everything.
The trainer (a horse whisperer with a PhD in psychology) gave us the instruction to back away and change our perspective if we got stuck. If it happened again, back away again - shift, go back in.
And if that didn't work, ASK FOR HELP.
So I backed away from the final hoof, stood there for a minute, and went back in. I repeated this a few times, getting more anxious and tense each time. So finally, I swallowed my pride and asked for help.
The trainer came to my side and said,
He knows you're frustrated. Force will not work. Release all that negative energy. Take a minute to gather yourself. The next time you approach, go in with clear, positive confidence that YOU are in charge. And with gentle strength and quiet power, gently lean into him, telling him what you are doing. Slide your hand down his leg, and he will lift it for you. There's nothing for you to do.
I gathered myself, shifted my perspective and followed her instructions. Deep breath. Gentle power. Confidence. Positivity. Clarity.
I leaned in. He lifted his hoof. I looked at the trainer. She gave me a nod and a wink from underneath her cowboy hat.
In creating a shift of perception in my inner world ~ my mind ~ I created change in my outer world.
I wouldn't have completed that exercise, nor received that ground-shaking nugget had I not ASKED FOR HELP.