Whether we like it or not, our culture is obsessed with money. It's either the end of all goals, defining your identity, or the evil that will take down the world.
None of that is true.
Money itself is neutral.
It’s not good or bad.
We assign meaning and value, depending on the circumstances of our past, our present and concern of the future.
Furthermore, the actual truth of saving for “financial security” is that there is no safety and security around or with money. It has the energetic properties of flow.
Money is in a constant state of coming and going. You may have it one day, and trust me, you may be in a completely different situation the next.
We need to find the safety and security…
within our own resilience.
My relationship with money has been a love/hate dance for, oh, I don’t know…as far back as 11-year-old me riding my horse up to the corner store to buy Nehi Grape (for my pony) and honeybuns and saying, “charge it please.” I lived out in the country so the corner store was on a corner, had wood siding with most of the white paint peeling off, 2 gas pumps, 1 pac-man game, 3 oooooold men who went frog-giggin' back in the day, and 1 tie up for your horse…I’m not kidding at all. And my pony really did like Nehi Grape.
I spent an entire summer doing that. And it made me feel a tremendous sense of freedom.
Freedom to do what I wanted, wherever I wanted, with whomever I wanted.
Often our earliest memories of money will inform how we feel about it today. My very first memory is not understanding the math of it AT ALL in first grade when we learned about coins. Adding, subtracting, dimes, nickels, quarters. I didn’t get it for a long time, and math was my thing back then. This made me feel incredibly…behind.
For a lot of us, there is a disconnect. We LOVE how the things we can buy, or the trips we can take make us look good and feel good. And although money does NOT make you happy, being able to feel some freedom around money is desirable for most people. But feeling behind, is often a more common emotion.
In addition, a lot of women have a hard time feeling like they DESERVE to have, make or spend money. (Especially if they're not the ones making it - or what they think is "not enough.")
Especially for or on themselves.
(I’m not talking about buying yourself gobs of shoes or handbags or designer this and that...)
I’m talking about furthering yourself as a human being…as a woman.
Investing in yourself.
Whether you are running a business, or running the business of running your family, or both, it’s all the same.
The reason women may have trouble with money — making it, managing it, keeping it — isn’t fear of success or failure.
It’s fear of our power.
“A powerful woman is someone who knows who she is, who knows what she wants, and expresses that in the world unapologetically.”
~ Barbara Stanny
When we’re not clear about who we are and what we want, when we’re not coming from our power, we’ll keep running patterns of unworthiness.
“Our relationship with money is a socially acceptable place to run our unworthiness patterns.”
~ Michelle Bauman
We keep ourselves small by limiting our access to abundance. We actually have infinite opportunities open to us. By saying, “I can’t afford it,” we are keeping ourselves in the same idea of lack. We’re staying small.
“I can’t afford it” is a reason, not reality. (I know…just sit with it.) We typically don’t have “enough” — because we overestimate the amount we think we can/want to/should make, and grossly underestimate what it will actually take (in time, work and money) to actually get there. (really talking to entrepreneurs here)
It’s good to think big…in fact it’s really necessary.
But we also need to be realistic about what it will take to be big.
We need to be clear on what it will take, define a strategy, let go of the outcome, and take small steps everyday - with focus - to lead you to the direction of your results.
As an exercise, try this on…
What if I told you there was $500,000 in a briefcase with your name it, and all you have to do is pick it up in person? No strings. No questions. Just a true gift.
But it is in London. And you have to pick it up in 3 days. Or it goes back to the bank. This is a 100% legit offer.
Would you find a way to get it?
I bet you would.
It won't make you happy, but having a pony that likes Nehi grape sure is a lot of fun.