“There is a time in our lives, usually in mid-life, when a woman has to make a decision – possibly the most important psychic decision of her future life – and that is, whether to be bitter or not. Women often come to this in their late thirties or early forties. They are at a point where they are full up to their ears with everything and they’ve ‘had it’ and ‘the last straw has broken the camel’s back’ and they’re ‘pissed off and pooped out.’ Their dreams of their twenties may be lying in a crumple. There may be broken hearts, broken marriages, broken promises.”
~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype
When I was in college, I remember seeing an interview with then First Lady, Barbara Bush. I don’t remember who was conducting the interview (probably Barbara Walters), but the conversation was centered around her experience and challenges living in the White House.
Mrs. Bush was asked something to the effect of, “Are you happy?” or maybe “Can you be happy?” I really don’t remember the exact question, but I remember her answer.
“I get up every day, and choose to be happy.”
That was the first time I'd ever heard anyone say anything like that before. And it seemed magical.
It’s true that after you’ve lived on this planet for three or four or maybe five decades, you’ve had some shit happen in your life.
Maybe some betrayal, some physical pain, some emotional pain, disappointment, dishonesty, been fired, failed business, broken heart, lost soul, confusion, sadness, anxiety, disease, sickness, death, divorce…something has happened to you. Just because you are alive.
No matter how perfectly put together you’re life looks on the outside, the fact is, you can’t escape shit happening.
Or some days, you feel like you are covered in thick, black tar, and you can't move.
So…you have a choice.
Who are you going to be NOW?
What’s your stand in life?
What do YOU want? (Not your spouse/partner, parents, kids, friends…YOU, my dear)
How do you WANT to feel? (Let’s assume it’s not bitter…)
**The doing comes later...first we determine how you want to feel. Flip the goal inside out and reverse it.**
Some of you will choose bitterness, because let’s face it…the world has done you wrong. You’ve had extra amounts of shit. More than most people. The world is full of scoundrels and mean people who are untrustworthy. If there is a virus within a 50-mile radius, you catch it. Nothing good can happen for too long because the world is cold, the other shoe always drops and you are a victim to it all. Occasionally there is some light, but by this point, you feel pretty dim most of the time.
Or you might choose something else, in spite of it all.
~ You may choose to love what is (I stole that from Byron Katie’s incredible book by the same title, Loving What Is).
~ You may choose to see life as a giant classroom and always be a student to the teaching.
~ You may choose to love someone even though they may not deserve it. But they need your love anyway.
~ You may choose to remove certain people from your life, because it’s not healthy to be in an active relationship with them. But you can love them anyway.
~ You may choose to go after your dream, even when everyone tells you it’s crazy or it’ll never work.
~ You may choose to color outside the lines and use your outside voice.
~ You may choose to forgive yourself. And everyone else. Just because there is enormous healing power in forgiveness.
~ You may choose to open your heart wide and full even though it seems unreasonable and downright foolish.
~ You may choose to fill yourself up with love, light and power before you walk out the door in the morning. Even if it’s to court. Or to the hospital. Or your kid’s graduation. Or your best friend’s birthday party. Or your mother’s funeral.
Just because you choose to.
You may choose to choose happiness first. Every. Day. No. Matter. What.
Perhaps you don’t know exactly how you want to feel. You may have never taken the time for yourself to even entertain that thought. You’re not alone.
How would you feel if you knew exactly how you wanted to feel and knew exactly how to make that happen?
It’s flat magical. And will clear the way for miracles.
I highly recommend taking the time to find out, with me and an intimate group of women on the rise. Click here to find out more.
The world needs what you have to give.