When you don't have any idea what to say...

Sometimes things happen that we absolutely cannot explain.

Nature shows us how powerful she is with a simple combination of hydrogen and oxygen, wind and pressure. The destruction can be unbelievable to us mere humans. 

People shoot people. Kids shoot other kids.

People harm themselves. Sometimes fatally.

Mothers and/or friends make choices that we truly don’t understand.

Children — especially teenagers — make choices that don’t make a lick of sense to anyone…sometimes, most times…even to themselves.

A seemingly healthy man walks out the door to work one morning and doesn’t come home that night.

Sometimes, we are witness to pain and grief that is almost unbearable. Circumstances that have no comprehensible answer.

Our human conscious mind sometimes simply cannot make sense out of the events occurring in our lives.

Maybe we’re not supposed to know everything. Maybe that’s the point of the whole mysteriousness of life. (Not to sound flippant, because my intention is the exact opposite.)

To know the depths, challenges, struggles, so we can experience full appreciation of the light, joy, freedom and love.


“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one.”  —Rumi


We think have so much control, and we don’t. Over anything.

Sometimes, the best thing we can say is -- 


“I don’t know.”  


(thanks for that Elizabeth Gilbert - from a recent Facebook post)

Sometimes just being fully present with someone while they are experiencing their darkness or confusion is the best we can give.

Not trying to figure it out or give an answer when we really don’t have one. Sometimes, the best we can give to someone is the space for them to feel the full range of emotion in order to fully move through their process, uninterrupted by the distraction of an “answer.” Just being a loving presence with them, for them. Strong, stable and full of love.

We can’t force someone to live as we live. To think as we think. To act how our particular worldview believes is the best way to act.

We are all on our own journey.

Peace can come when we trust that everyone is exactly where they need to be on their path. No matter what that looks like. No matter how much we disagree. No matter how much we don’t understand. No matter how we think they should be handling the situation. Sometimes we get this, and sometimes it takes an incredible amount of presence and patience to get there. But this practice produces...peace.

Practicing forgiveness from a strong and bold heart liberates the tension from our own being and allows us to shine our light.

And we can practice forgiveness and love from a distance. Sometimes, we need to continue to that practice and also not keep toxic relationships alive.

A teacher of mine calls this being the “lighthouse.” I love that statement.

Not that it’s easy. It’s not always easy. Sometimes you’re really pissed. Or hurt. Or confused.

But not moving off your ground, standing tall, leading the way out of the darkness through a strong inner stance, shining the light of love and forgiveness, that’s where true power lies. Everyone feels it. Everyone might not understand it, but it is felt.

No matter what is happening around you. No matter the bombs that fall to your shores, or storms that try to erode your stance.

You know who you are and what your purpose is. Fear turns into love. Anger transmutes into kindness. Weakness turns into strength.

And sometimes, the best answer is:

I don’t know why. I see you’re pain. I see you are lost. But I’ll stand at the edge with you, hold open a space as large as the ocean, practice unconditional love and shine so that you can find your own way home.