10 Secrets to Break the Cycle of Feeling Trapped in Your Body, Controlled By Your Mind and Victimized By Your Life

How do you go from being a victim of your life, to creating your life by your desires and intention with passion, pleasure and purpose? 

First, you distinguish the key differences that will create new possibilities to shift your way of being:

Being a Creator vs. Being a Victim.

This is how you develop permanent, lasting results.

Reconnecting to your body, your power and creating freedom doesn’t have to drag on forever with hours and hours of therapy or difficult and miserable weight loss programs.

As you read through these, I bet you can recognize people in your life that fall into one category or another. And all of us can also wear either the victim hat or creator hat, depending on what's happening. The trick is to have the awareness to catch yourself when you're in "victimhood" and get outta there quick.

Take action. Start creating. You don't have to go round and round in your mind and analyze it to death and beat yourself up. Just start.

You can implement these characteristics right now – today:

1. Creator – She does what she says she’s going to do. Always. No exceptions. She makes food choices that work for her. She works out when she doesn’t want to. She always responds, calls back, returns the text/email. Doesn’t make excuses, takes responsibility. She’s does what she says she’s going to do in the timeframe she committed to.

Victim – Is always “trying.” Life always seems to get in the way. Uses language like “life is so crazy right now…we’re just so busy!” She doesn’t "like" healthy food or working out, even though she knows it’s what she committed to. 

2. Creator – Gets to the heart of the matter. Direct. Honest. No-nonsense. Consistently takes action to move forward.

Victim –  Endlessly talks around issues. Just talking. Consistently. Little to no action. Participates in gossip instead of taking action to move her life forward.

3. Creator – Does what’s in front of her. Does what needs to be done right now. Doesn’t procrastinate.

Victim –  Overwhelmed. Swamped. Soooo “busy.” Isn’t living her own inner life. Living out the expectations of everyone around her. Good at doing what everyone else wants or thinks she should be doing.

4. Creator – Persistent and intentional. Lives her life with intention. In the present moment, not stuck in the past or worrying about the future.

Victim – Dramatic and desperate. Drama queen. In everyone’s business. Constantly worried about the past, the future and what other people will think.

5. Owner – Will engage in a project or challenge and think how it can be done.

Victim – Will tell everyone why it can’t be done. 

6.  Creator – Actively creates what she wants in life. She knows to start before she’s ready. There is no perfect time.

Victim –  Passively waits to be told what to do or until the “timing is right.”

7. Creator – Engages in the necessary required actions to achieve desired results. Goes to the gym. Makes the call. Keeps her daily self-care practices. Takes the time to cook healthy meals for herself and her family.

Victim – Engages in superficial activities in order to seem and look “busy.” Very easily distracted. Hard time focusing. Makes excuses.

8. Creator – Asks “How can I best serve you?”

Victim –  Asks “How can I please you and make you like me?” 

9.  Creator – Deals with what’s in the way. (Takes action.) Is honest with herself about where she is resisting.

Victim – Complains about the way things are. (Takes no action.) 

10. Creator – Alters behavior as necessary with resolve. Growth mindset. Interested in learning new things about life and herself. Wants to grow and transform. Is in touch with her desires.

Victim – Stays stuck. Not interested in changing behavior. Fixed mindset. “It’s just the way I am.”


These distinctions work for any kind of permanent change we want to make. Whether it’s losing weight, gaining energy, starting a business, or transforming your relationships, these distinctions will propel you toward the results you’re looking for.

If you found yourself with lots of the victim characteristics, don't worry. This is very common in our society, and when you get clear on YOUR desires and how YOU want to feel, being a creator becomes your natural state.

Be a Creator. Be bold, be radiant and take a stand for your desires.

We need what you have to give.

There are spaces still left for my next workshop. Get out of victimhood and discover how YOU want to feel. Being a creator feels really good.